


Dear Diary

by tbhtooru



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff, M/M, breaking news all I write is fluff, please stop me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-26
Updated: 2016-09-18
Packaged: 2018-05-09 10:02:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5535734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tbhtooru/pseuds/tbhtooru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of diary entries from Tobio Kageyama</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

Dear Diary,

Is it weird to be a first year in high school and be writing in a diary? Does it make it even weirder being a guy? I guess that doesn't matter since no one else will ever see this, but it just feels a little off.  
I've read a lot that its easier to express emotions and speak to others if you write down what your thinking, so I guess I'll try to write something once a day, recounting what happened. I might forget every once in a while because most of my time gets filled by volleyball.  
I guess that's all I need to say right now.

-Tobio Kageyama


	2. Chapter 2

Dear Diary,

I'm not in love. I just can't be.

Hinata has never been someone I wanted to be friends with, let alone date, but today at practice I couldn't help but admire him in his whole form.

After each toss I felt myself watching Hinata more closely then ever before. His arms are beautiful really, he's actually quite strong and the muscles in his arms prove it.  
His legs are quite nice too, they've got a lot of power.  
He's honed his skills a lot since when we first met, and maybe partially because I help him play, just like he helps me, but he's also practiced a lot on his own and with others, just so he could play without needing my tosses. It's kind of cute how much he cares.  
I guess in general he's just really cute.  
I'm really used to feeling academically inferior to everyone else, but its not like that with Hinata. Just like me he's really not all that smart, but I like that, because I don't feel stupid around him. He makes me feel human.

But no, I'm not in love, especially not with Hinata.

Aside from that things are going fine I guess. I haven't noticed much change in how I talk to others, though I guess I haven't written a proper message in here yet. I'm excited for change, I don't want everyone to think I'm mean on purpose, I just have an aggressive nature.

That's all I have to share for now

-Tobio Kageyama

 

Dear Diary,

I swear I'm not in love.

I asked my mom to tell me what butterflies are like. She said that it feels like something fluttering in you're stomach or chest. She said that it happens when you're body wants to tell you that you're in love.

I don't think she's right about the last part because that's how I felt when I spoke to Hinata this morning. His eyes lit up as he spoke and I felt something tingling in my stomach. It was like a giant pack of wild butterflies were all contained inside of me, and all they wanted was to get out, and the more Hinata spoke the more anxious to get out the butterflies got.

But the thing is, I know I'm not in love. I can't be. Hinata's...I don't know. I guess I wouldn't say he's not my type, if I have a type I think it might just be Hinata. He's so exuberant, and so passionate about volleyball and everything he does. And oH MY GOD HE'S SO SHORT, HE'S PRETTY MUCH THE PERFECT HEIGHT FOR ME TO REST MY ARM ON HIS HEAD AND..........and is this what it feels like to be in love? To spend so much time thinking about someone that all your other thoughts clutter? To list off someone's best attributes without thinking for a second?

jesus christ, I think I'm in love

-Tobio Kageyama

Dear Diary,

I never really questioned my sexuality, I guess I always assumed I was straight. I mean, I never really saw the attraction in girls, I still don't get why all the others drool after Shimizu-senpai. I can tell that she is a beautiful lady, but after that I still just don't get it. But its not like I've always seen the attraction in guys either. Sure, I'm always able to point out if a guy is hot, but I've never been attracted to a guy before either. Hinata's really the first person I've ever had a crush on.

I don't know, maybe my feelings will pass

-Tobio Kageyama


	3. Chapter 3

Dear Diary,

I never understood how people fell in love with eyes. They said blue eyes were deep like oceans, and green eyes were never ending like galaxies. They said brown eyes were expansive and telling like forests, and I just didn't get it. That is, until I started looking at Hinata's. As soon as I look away from our classroom chalkboard its almost like his eyes call my name. The focused determination that fills his eyes is mesmorizing and like nothing I've seen before.  
He's beautiful, and I'm a mess because of it.

-Tobio Kageyama

Dear Diary,

I could hardly keep focus in practice today because of how much I was thinking about Hinata. I thought about what it would be like to hold his hand, to kiss, and......suffice it to say, none of the practice has stuck with me.  
Maybe I should tell Hinata how I feel. Better to get it off my chest now, and know how he feels, then to leave myself worrying.

-Tobio Kageyama

Dear Diary,

Today after practice I decided on telling Hinata how I felt. I told him that I really like him. He said "of course you do! We're friends, I like you too!" I considered not telling him anymore but my mouth opened and I couldn't stop myself. I told him that it is more than friendship for me. I told him that his eyes are as expansive as a forest and even though they weren't blue or green they are still deep like oceans and and never ending like galaxies. I told him that he's beautiful.  
And then there was silence. And then there was terror in the pit of my stomach. And then there were his lips were on mine. His mouth opened and I followed suit, then suddenly there was a second tongue inside me where there normally was one. And then there were his teeth, pulling at my bottom lip......And then there was Daichi walking into the club room to collect his forgotten gym bag.  
We were lucky, Daichi said he wouldn't tell anyone what he saw, but tomorrow we'd have to stay after practice to "have a little chat" about what happened.  
The last part was hellish, but the moments proceeding were heavenly. 

-Tobio Kageyama

Dear Diary,

Talking with Daichi wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. He told Hinata and I that there was nothing wrong with us being together, but that it cant be a distraction on the court, and that he wouldn't tolerate such actions in the club room. He's letting us off easy this time because we didn't know of the rules, but if he catches us kissing in the club room again we're going to have to face punishment. Needless to say, I'm not planning on spending any extra time there any time soon.

After that I tried talking to Hinata. I asked him why he kissed me, and he just shrugged, saying "it felt right for the moment." Then walked away. I don't know if that's supposed to mean he doesn't feel the same way about me, but that's what it feels like. Either way, I'm afraid to talk to Hinata tomorrow.

-Tobio Kageyama

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our baby bird is experiencing emotion and I think that's beautiful


	4. Chapter 4

Dear Diary,

Talking to Hinata was, well, normal. Nothing about the way he talked was different from usual. Someone looking from outside would probably not guess the tension I was feeling due to the fact that he totally kissed me yesterday. So yeah, everything was fine, that is until he grabbed my hand in the middle of a conversation about the upcoming practice game with Seijou. Except even that felt normal. It was so natural someone might think he always did that if they didn't know any better. However, everyone in our class did know better. They all expect us to be fighting and yelling basically 24/7. Sure, we got looks but eventually no one cared anymore. In all honesty I kind of expected more of a reaction. Though I guess I'm lucky for not having to deal with aggresively homophobic classmates.

-Tobio Kageyama

Dear Diary,

I'm lucky to have the mom that I do. I'm lucky to be able to talk to her so easily. I told her that I think I'm in love. I told her that we might be kinda sorta dating, despite never explicitly saying anything like that to each other. She said that if that was the case I just needed to talk to them, to see how they feel. I'm lucky that my mom didn't assume I'm in love with a girl. I'm lucky that she gives such perfect advice. I didn't intend to mention that it's a boy, at least not until I had asked how he felt, but it just sort of slipped when I said that I'd talk to *him* tomorrow. She asked what his name was. I told her. Everything was okay. I'm lucky to have a mom so accepting of who I am. I'm lucky to have a m that loves me as much as she does.

-Tobio Kageyama

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, uh, here's the thing, I'm not good at writing chaptered fics because I always forget about it and end up abandoning them, but I'm gonna keep going with this one...which is to say I'll probably write one or two more chapters after this which will inevitably take roughly 27593 years each.


End file.
